so you wanna be a web developer?
Welcome to my humble home. The ultimate purpose of this desultory patch of web space is uncertain. However, the current and pressing reason for its pitiful existence is simply to provide a canvas on which I can experiment. After ten years' of self-employment as a derivatives trader, a rewarding but perhaps somewhat narrow field in which to develop one's entire career, I am decidedly eager for change and inspired to nestle under the welcoming umbrella of web development, where logic and creativity sing a mean harmony. Obviously this means I need deft skills in the relevant areas:
- XHTML (structure) and CSS (style) that conforms to WCAG accessibility guidelines
- Graphic design principles expressed in Photoshop and/or Fireworks
- Server-side scripting (e.g. PHP) with sound knowledge of the object-oriented approach
- Structured query language (SQL) and relational database design
- Secure, efficient and modular code
- Copywriting
- Javascript and AJAX (including Prototype, JQuery, MooTools, script.aculo.us etc. )
- Facebook/Maps/Search Engines API applications and mashups
- Flash
- XML / Xpath
These are the typical tools of the contemporary dynamic site developer so I must know them intimately. Fortunately I have a minuscule head start as I once tarnished the internet with my own dangerously loose HTML several years ago, when Dreamweaver was but a wee lad in the short trousers of version 2. It would have knackered a modern validator engine.
More dubiously I can offer, erm, a history of programming the BBC Master 128k in assembly language at school, often in order to coerce it and twelve of its friends to play an indescribably irritating rendition of Cavatina with a 50ms delay between each; or to build elaborate trojan horses to capture the occasional password (for ethical use only, of course!). Neither activity brought joy to my poor computer master, but at least I discovered a peculiar love for coding. At school I also benefitted from an excellent grounding in Latin and Greek, neither one a particularly easy language, especially when required to translate from one to the other. To return to the present, one of the joys of working for Leeds University is free access to a staggering range of books and since the New Year I have taken the opportunity to burrow through a vast number to complement my fierce retraining schedule. I've listed some of my favourites in the sidebar on the About page. Fortunately much of the content has remained between my ears and is ready to help sell your product, build a killer bleeding-edge application or improve your institution's web presence. More on that later.
portfolio
Pouring theory into my head is only a quarter of the battle, of course. The proof is in the pudding, so I need a site like this to demonstrate tangible (well, visible) results of my mental labours. So far, they are not going to raise an eyebrow, except in derision: I am all too aware that these early pages are reminiscent of a boring fourteen year old wannabe hacker's, perhaps worse. However grant me some time and this may change. Meanwhile I seem to have about five projects on the go at once, so nothing is satisfactorily finished, but I'd rather include those than nothing at all...
Here's one sketch : a childishly simple page that sports offputting complementary colours, a style sheet switcher and a vaguely cunning CSS/PHP navigation bar.
I've also coded up this Pool League page on behalf of some friends, who specified parts of the design and will be adding their own dynamic content later. This taught me a lot about responding to client needs and sharing workflow among a team.
Here's an inappropriate Facebook application that helps one find photos of people, even when their profile appears impenetrable. It doesn't do anything illicit, merely takes advantage of the fact that often people will fail to set their photo privacy to the highest possible level. Joining a network is especially effective at pillaging ones privacy settings. Warning, the GUI is crude and the app horribly slow. Screenshot
Here's an opportunity to buy some kittens, a basic CMS admin page and a handy booze calculator.
For a full, completed project, here's an ancient woodland information site that features an Ajax image search, a subtle JSON Wikipedia search, a dash of script.aculo.us effects and a PHP gallery script that automatically scavenges two directories and builds thumbnails if necessary. This allows the site owner to simply drop new images into a folder without having to alter the page HTML afterwards. It also fully validates to Strict XHTML standards and displays correctly on IE 6/7, Firefox and Safari (Mac and Windows).
The projects du jour: I'm at last delving into the wonders of Wordpress for the first time, to make this wedding photography site for a colleague. This has required some quite savage hacking of the template files and even a plugin. For instance, the portfolio page fetches photos from Flickr which Chris has selected with Flickr tags, with pagination and links to the originals.
I'm also having a crack at a couple of frighteningly trivial Facebook applications. One displays birthday reminders, another provides random quotes from the OC, while a serious, vaguely useful one imports my Outlook calendar and displays today's appointments. All three can enjoy a presence on my main profile page if required. Or indeed yours, if you're desperate. Simply authorise the apps, then choose Settings > Application Settings >> Edit Settings for relevant app and add a Box in the Profile tab. The box will appear in Boxes, then you can move it to the profile page if you want. You won't.
Ideally I need to write a macro for Outlook that exports my calendar with one click, then I can run a batch file as a scheduled task to FTP the file to my server, which in turn updates FB once a day using a CRON job. That way the whole process can be almost automated. Enough!
Finally, here is a shopping cart application using PHP OOP. As you can see I have a way to go with this, but the basic functionality is there.
for hire
If you happen to be a potential employer who wants a bright and eager junior to join your development team then please get in touch. As I am simply looking for a creative and intellectually rewarding way to spend my time, the level of salary is unimportant (within reason). If I can build these pages from scratch in 16.08 months (frugi was born on 1/3/08) with no previous knowledge of CSS 2/PHP/SQL, while working full time, imagine what my undivided attention could do for you in a few months. If you are not convinced (and I admit I might not be on this scant evidence) then please check back soon, as I am determined to create a portfolio that demonstrates my ability to tackle every stage of a site's development with aplomb. I also hold the following qualifications: ECDL, CIW Master Designer, Adobe Certified Developer (Dreamweaver 8) and CompTIA A+ IT Technician. Please feel free to contact me here.
i only want to see some llamas
For family and friends who have choked on this technical self-aggrandising nonsense and who simply want to see some low quality snaps of Patmos, Bequia, our wedding, or yes, llamas, please click on the red portion of the "Simon" game above this column (or here) and you shall be faintly rewarded. I'm afraid you'll need to register first so I have a vague idea of who's looking at them. Well, actually I don't care at all, but it was a good excuse to write some more code. Oh and the Kitty Cam sometimes works too!
Soon I will integrate Wordpress...